


Hold Me Close

by Katie_Dub



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Friends to Lovers, This May Hurt...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-24 00:54:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8349799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katie_Dub/pseuds/Katie_Dub
Summary: It’s the Never Let Me Go CS AU that nobody wanted. Angsty af, unbeta’d and I’m sorry.





	

Emma S was alone in the dark.

At least she thought she was.

She couldn’t hear any people, just a soft beeping and the sound of air travelling in and out of her lungs. In the distance she could hear soft murmurs, but they were far away. So far.

She was cold. No, not cold, numb. She couldn’t feel anything.

Everything smelled too clean, perhaps a little clinical. She struggled to pull the breath in through her nose. Was it always this hard to breathe?

_Oh, of course,_ the thought came to her suddenly, _I know where I am._

Her thoughts turned, as they always did at times like this, to Killian J.

***

He had been a beautiful boy. In every way possible.

He was full of hope. He concentrated on keeping himself well, keeping himself healthy, just like they were taught. He didn’t let their lives growing up in Hailsham - without parents to care for them or futures to dream of - destroy his belief that they could escape their fate.

Even as a child Emma knew better.

She had heard the whispers about donations, knew what they were here for, understood how the world saw them: As their Saviours. But Saviours don’t get happy endings.

She would hiss and snarl at their keepers, raging against the unfairness of the world.

He would hold her at times like that. Hold her close and stroke her hair. He was always so wise for one so young. He made her feel loved before she knew what love was.

She would have given him her heart to thank him, if only it was hers to give.

***

It took losing Liam J for the strain to finally show on Killian.

Liam was his brother. That’s what they told themselves anyway. None of them knew anything of their beginnings, all they knew of the world was Hailsham. There was nothing before, as if they had been planted like crops or built like machines. 

They might as well be, the world may have needed the Saviours, but they were treated like spare parts.

Liam had donated one too many times. Killian tried to stop him from going that final time, but he was too noble, too ready to save the day. No matter what it cost him.

_“I can’t refuse Killian, he’s the King!”_

_You can’t refuse anyway,_ Emma had thought bitterly, _being a Saviour isn’t a choice; it’s an obligation._

She said nothing, but later held Killian as he once held her.

She listened patiently as he sobbed and railed.  _“Our kingdom is corrupt and immoral!”_ he screamed. She could only nod dumbly, she’d known it for so long and she hated that he did now too.

_“Let’s be pirates, love, let’s sail away.”_ She smiled, _“I’d like that”_ she whispered.

They both knew they could never leave.

***

Killian became consumed with a new thirst for life after that. He wanted to taste and touch and feel everything.

_While we still can._

The thought echoed deep in her bones. It didn’t need to be said.

That’s when Killian J and Milah G fell in love.

Emma had just been too scared for what he offered, she hadn’t meant to push him into the arms of another.

She could never forget that night when she realised that her two best friends had become lovers. When Milah came to her, exulted over how she had won Killian, Emma could only nod. _“He just doesn’t see you that way”_ she had whispered. And of course he didn’t, Emma should have known.

Love was never on the cards for the Saviours.

Or at least, not this one.

***

That was when they first heard the whispers: Saviours from Hailsham were special. If they had True Love, they could be spared. They might be allowed a happy ending. For a little while, at least.

It had lifted her heart to think that her friends could have a little more time, but she couldn’t bear to witness it. It would have broken her heart. And she had to take care of every organ, had to stay healthy, it was of the utmost importance.

And so she had run.

***

Though their love was long since dead and buried by the time Milah made her final donation, Emma could see how much her end had hurt Killian.

Or maybe it was his own donations starting to take their toll.

His beautiful body was now scarred and used. He had donated his left hand and they hadn’t thought to give him a prosthetic in its place. He winced when he moved and his skin took on a sickly sheen at all times.

He rarely smiled anymore, but when he did it was all for her. At least she knew that now.

***

Milah had known her end was near and had reunited them all. She had taken them to the beach, she knew how they sea calmed them both. She cried and begged their forgiveness for keeping them apart.

_“You had True Love and I didn’t. And I didn’t want to be the one left alone”_ She had sobbed.

Emma and Killian had sat in stunned silence, while Milah produced details of how they could get their happy ending. There was an address she said. They should go and plead their case. The people there would see it was True Love, just as she had, even when they were little. Those people would give them more time, she said.

That night Emma and Killian made love for the first time.

***

Weeks later they had travelled to that address, against Dr Whale’s explicit instructions.

They held hands nervously as they talked to the lady they found there. They spoke of how they had found each other, how they knew it was True Love, how they deserved a little more time.

The woman had such kind eyes.

She was so patient, listening intently to everything they had to say. When they were done, she had smiled and for one moment, Emma thought that they had done it, they had won. But then she noticed that the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

Emma didn’t hear what she said, but she understood the message all the same: No happy ending for you two. Your True Love isn’t enough, not today.

Killian had howled that night and she couldn’t blame him. She cursed the people who made up those lies. They were obviously meant to make the Saviours feel better, but this false hope, had been worse than none at all.

They both cried as they held each other. They didn’t have enough time.

***

Emma was with Killian when his final donation brought about his end. He had looked so peaceful even as the doctors had cut and sliced and taken him apart. When the gentle beep of his heart monitor switched to a dull drone, the doctors simply moved away, taking his donation with them.

It was his most precious donation yet. She imagined that it glowed with his love for her. She wondered if the person who received it would feel that. Would feel how much he had loved, how much he had been loved.

Despite all the sadness, she felt pride for her Saviour, Killian J, the man she loved.

***

It was still dark.

Something was wrong. The beeping had stopped. No one seemed to care. She couldn’t hear anything. Maybe this was it. Her end.

And they all lived happily ever after. That couldn’t be it.

And they all lived happily. No, they certainly didn’t.

And they all lived.

And they all…


End file.
